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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said... →
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher... →
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations — we're doing everything we can to keep... →
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide;... →
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who... →
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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