I was so poor growing up…if I wasn't a boy…I'd have nothing to play with.
Дэнджерфилд, Родни
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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